little girl

little girl dodging cracks on the pavement,little girl staring at the stars,little girl watching the clouds go by..
time passed her by in a flash same girl new age now she's grown, dodging hardships of life, still staring at stars but with different dreams and like always watching the clouds go by just with different eyes..

R.xxx

we have so much to say but we cant find the time
want to talk alone but someone is always in the way
want to explain our heart
But someone is always listening
want to go away
but someone is always watching
but its ok I understand why you can't say
im on your side anyway
through darkness or light
im always by your side


R.xxx

AMBIGUITY

So here I am sitting and thinking about nothing and everything
about no one and everyone
about something and nothing at all
my mind feels afloat I can't grasp it
what I want to say I do not know and what I feel I can't name
is it a moment from peace or a moment from destruction
this ambiguity will drive me insane
am I not meant to be aware of myself by now or have I failed to understand the basics of our development
have i fallen into some invisible hole and and can't get out but i'm not even that deep
still aware of others around me
which makes me more aware of my oddities

R.xxx

Free

Wanting to walk and never look back
Is it possible to shed ones skin and disappear
to leave ones physical self and carry on
to leave no mark of existence and go away
with no one looking or no one holding you back
free as a bird
go wherever the wind takes you
liberated
happy
free...

R.xxx

want to call but don't know what to say
want to meet but don't know what to do
want to tell you everything
but don't know how
want to trust you with all i have
but don't know how
want to make you mine
but don't know how....

R.xxx

Black Hole

Today the black hole has caught up
its sucking me in deeper than before
im slipping im falling
discretely
silently
my mask is cracking
my tears are falling
my scars are showing
the pain pierces my chest, makes it hollow
the pace of this pain is hard to swallow
I turn for help but they don't listen
so i sit and wait for the black hole to win

R.xxx

whirlwind

I don't know whats happening
I feel this way and I don't know why
It's like the burdens of the world sit and rest on my head
It's like I'm somehow to blame for the suffering and the pain
Its like the scars I have I deserve each and every one
Its like no matter what I say or do its all the same
Days go by like a blur each one like the last
people are the same just the face seem to change
one has 2 the other 10
i dont know what to do
where to look
what to say
its all a mess inside my head
trapped in a whirlwind
spinning round and round
will i get out at all...

R.xxx

glue

you help me rise when i fall
lift me up dust me off
your the glue when i crack
your the hinge that keeps the door and wall intact
your the button that keeps the coat as one
your the binding of a book
your the cast of a broken arm
if you left i wouldn't be here after all..

R.xxx

when no words are left to say
you smile and just carry on day by day
when there is nothing to be done
nothing that can be undone
you do the things that the world expects
when there is no way to explain
you silence the pain
bury it deep within your chest
when there is nobody to listen
you bottle the screams until the cracks begin to show
then you laugh to fill the cracks
and then you do it all over again....

R.xxx

Planet

the sun comes up
the sun goes down
daytime goes
then comes back around
these things we have
we take for granted
just how much beauty
is in this planet :)

R.xxx

Just when i thought you had left
here you are once again
the piercing pain within my chest
the burden and the scars i bear
just when i thought i left it far
it was crawling behind me all along
I can't run any further
I can't scream any louder
the pit is deeper and i'm falling much quicker
Can anybody save me now?

R.xxx

Step back

for every glass of water we drink
A child is thirsty
For every game we buy
a woman is on the game to survive
For every phone we use
A man slaves in a factory on a tenth of the minimum wage
for every luxury top we buy
Small children labour in the fields to harvest the raw materials
I'm not saying I'm perfect
I'm so far from it
All I say is try to step back
every once in a while
Look at all we have and how less some others do
Would it really make a difference
If we were charitable once in a while
Would we really suffer?
We could help a life
Help a family
We could even save a life
surely thats got to worth more
than all the materialistic things in the world
If the spirit of love and giving isn't above all then what hope do we really have..?

R.xxx

Trust

I want to trust you
I want to let you in
Its not my fault
I just don't know how
I've built a wall for so long
Made everyone believe I was so strong
Seems i don't need anyone
Fine on my own after all
If only they knew the truth
Of how my heart is crippled
How i can't say what i feel
makes sense inside my head,
but i'm not able to speak it aloud
Nothing seems to work my way
Can't find the one
Going to end up alone
When I climb i fall
when I scream nobody listens
when I run I don't get far
somebody needs to realize the strong girl needs someone after all...

R.xxx


R.xxx

Miss you

I miss u each day
I miss your laugh the way you smiled, the things you said
the days go on but without you they seem a waste
occasions come and go, each one you miss is not the same
time slips by, life keeps moving on
Wish it would stand still until your return
If only i could have you near me all the time
I need you to complete me
I need you to see the world in a better light
I need you to be happy
i need you to smile
i need you to breath
I need you to live..

R.xxx

:)

A smile can brighten somebody's day
An act of kindness can give somebody the hope they needed
A selfless gesture can save a soul
A word of positivity can go a long way
A belief in someones dream can increase potential

If we all done our bit even a smile a day, the world would be a better place.. :)


R.xxx

Salvation

why is everybody you meet so hollow
whats happened to sincerity
whats happened to meaning
can't seem to find a being deeper than its surface
have we killed all the passion after all
have we murdered all the inspiration with our wars
why do i feel like the only one with a deeper meaning
with a beating heart
with sorrow and pain for the suffering of this world
with love and longing for the beauty of the world
with a curiosity and thirst for knowledge
with a burning passion to better humanity
I hope and pray i find someone like me
so I know i'm not the only one
so I know there is some salvation after all..

R.xxx

Tools

the heart beats but in a thousand rhythms
the voice sings but in a million tunes
the mind believes but in different ways
the body acts but according to hundreds of commands

we all have the same tools
how we use them is what defines who we are, what we do, and how we lived..

R.xxx

Words

words are strong
words are stronger than your kicks and punches
which will wound me then leave,
but the words you say wound the heart and never go away
violence wins sprints but words will win marathons
a letter, a punch, a word, a fist
one superficial the other profound
which one is which i need not say
words are daggers without the blade, yet they cut much deeper
words are cuts without the knife yet bleed much longer
words are bruises to the heart that never heal...

R.xxx

why..

why is it everyone leaves you when things get rough
why is it nobody listens when your in so much pain
why is it no one looks when your falling apart
why is it no one questions the fake smiles
why is it no one asks if your ok and just accepts your "fine"
are these people really friends after all
are these people a real family after all
makes you question
makes you wonder
why is it they don't seem to care
for if the tables turned
and they were in despair
i'd reach out and ease their pain
isn't that what we should do..?

R.xxx

?

a slave of the rules
a prisoner of the system
a victim of the wars
restrained by fear
powerless by abuse
fightless with no strength

is this what we really wanted after all...


R.xxx

How?

faces change according to moods
languages all have separate words
everybody acts according to different codes
how do you understand all the words and reasons why
what if you can't work it out
thought you understood how to act
hurts your brain to figure it out
thought you knew someone and it all turned around
thought you new the rules but they all come crashing down
feels like your back where you started
trying to work the world out
once again go through the cycle
then end up back to the start
still confused, among a crowd
trying to escape
but with no know how..


R.xxx

you lead me on then let me go
tell me you care then walk away
act like you care then disappear
I can't understand what it is you really want but
if you keep leading me on
i'll break
if you keep telling me you care then walk away
i'll collapse
if you keep acting like you care then disappear
i'll shatter completely..

R.xxx

I need a hand to hold
I need a soul to love and who loves me back
I need a feeling that fills my whole body and core
I need somebody who will never leave
I need someone i can pour my soul into like an empty vase
you see it in novel and films
hear it in songs and stories
but in real life i'm beginning to contemplate if it really exists..

I want to scream I want to run
I want to cry to lift this pain
take it away, so far away
some place where i would never stay
dump it there and don't look back
just run ahead and start life anew again..

R.xxx

empty

in everyday there is an emptiness that stays
if i only knew what it wants
it wont stop, it wont rest,it wont go away
need that last piece to complete my soul, make me whole
but what it is even I don't know
I run and I crawl, endlessly searching for the unnamed
its crushing my heart making it bleed
its making it hurt so very deep
try to carry on each hour, day by day
but I don't know how much more i can take
something just isn't right
theres just so long before i break..

R.xxx

Need..

when im sitting in the darkest corner of the world
when I can't focus through the darkness to see
when lifes kicks and punches have knocked me down
when all my tears have dried
when i have no energy left to even raise my eyes
I need you to lift me up
I need you to realise i need your help
I dont want to doubt it
but if i ever did
please dont prove it..

R.xxx

:)

we've been up and we've been down
seen it all
been all around
you make me mad
you make me smile
can't say its been easy
was hard for alot of the while
I hurt you
you hurt me
we both lost it a little
but we met in between
no matter how much I say never again
we always end up talking once again
but something you don't know
I care for you like my own
I don't think you realise
don't think you ever did
but if something ever happened to you
the part of my heart I gave to you
would no longer live.

R.xxx

Loser

So you knocked me down
kicked me while I was on the ground
did you get satisfaction?
did it make you feel more powerful?
So here I am
standing again
you couldn't bring me down I'll even let you try again
thanks to you, I'm that much stronger
that much wiser
lets see who now looks like the loser
you had it all
everything you wanted
but I still pity you
because you've never had what you truly needed...

R.xxx

Here and there
people look frustrated,
busy going one place to another
Always trying to prove their superiority,
their strength in this
materialistic world
Their eyes are loosing meaning
little by little
walking in a daze
I look around and feel amazed
just how quickly they become fazed
by what they do, what car they drive, what home they own
things that don't really mean anything at all..

R.xxx

day by day..

The people fight their loneliness
They all try so hard
keeping their cracks sealed
showing the world their smiles
it's all so fake
it's all put on
it makes me sick
makes my stomach turn
I can't understand
why there are so many novelties
the bare truth
is no longer seen in anything
even though it's always
the most beautiful
but instead
we all try to fit in and get along
day by day
by day

R.xxx

They..

Its based on the them
Its based on the we
Its based on the us
not the you and me
that's what they tell you
what they make you believe
that if you go with the flow
you'll live for eternity
but what if you're different
and don't see it all the way its laid out
what if you break the rules
and make them your own
the system is all thought out
all planned
to keep the world, to control how we must behave
so if your different
you pose a threat
if your different
you won't obey
if they find out your different
they'll get rid of you straight away..

R.xxx

Gone..

I don't think you understand where we're going
neither do I
It feels strange
It doesn't feel right
I'm afraid to say it aloud
but my love for you has changed
I don't know how
I don't know what to say to make you understand
when I don't myself
I care for you deeply
I always will
but somewhere along the road
the love has gone
maybe you changed
maybe I did
but you must know
it will
never be the same..

R.xxx

Look back

No matter how strong you are
the need for someone will always be there
no matter how brave you are
the child in you is still afraid
no matter how carefree you are
the worries catch up some day
no mater how strong your morality
there will be a day your morals failed to stay as strong
this doesn't mean your any less
this doesn't mean your a bad person
it just shows we are all human
we make mistakes
we fall
we crack
we break
but after it all
we stand
we walk
we never look back..

R.xxx

expectations.

I do what I do to feel complete
but sometimes it fails to work
I say what I say to fill the silence
but sometimes it has no sound
I act how I do to fill expectations
but sometimes my standards fall
I do all the things people want without saying
I attempt to fill all their expectations
I try and say what they want to hear
but sometimes late at night I sit and wonder
why does nobody ask what I want...

R.xxx

Different

Ordinary child, blends into the background
becomes part of the furniture
not great they say
not much they think
not worthy they feel
how wrong they were
look who came out stronger
look who became wiser
look who learnt the most
look who changed history..
the ones who are different
are the ones who make the difference
which define the rest..

R.xxx

Stranger..

You've done it again
said you wouldn't but here we go again
how I let you in again, why I let you in, I'll never know
Now you've left your mess behind once again
left for me to clean behind you
never again
keep away, never look back
the person I knew in you is long dead
the new you I don't know at all
i don't recognise your walk your talk,
how you act what you think
how sad you've become a stranger to me

R.xxx

My wall

even my exterior is starting to fall
don't know how long I can keep up this charade
it's all falling down in front of my eyes
the pretence the act is slipping off
the frail me is in the core
I start to show, they begin to see
I must hide , build my wall
only this time much stronger
much higher
indestructible..

R.xxx