AMBIGUITY

So here I am sitting and thinking about nothing and everything
about no one and everyone
about something and nothing at all
my mind feels afloat I can't grasp it
what I want to say I do not know and what I feel I can't name
is it a moment from peace or a moment from destruction
this ambiguity will drive me insane
am I not meant to be aware of myself by now or have I failed to understand the basics of our development
have i fallen into some invisible hole and and can't get out but i'm not even that deep
still aware of others around me
which makes me more aware of my oddities

R.xxx

Free

Wanting to walk and never look back
Is it possible to shed ones skin and disappear
to leave ones physical self and carry on
to leave no mark of existence and go away
with no one looking or no one holding you back
free as a bird
go wherever the wind takes you
liberated
happy
free...

R.xxx

want to call but don't know what to say
want to meet but don't know what to do
want to tell you everything
but don't know how
want to trust you with all i have
but don't know how
want to make you mine
but don't know how....

R.xxx

Black Hole

Today the black hole has caught up
its sucking me in deeper than before
im slipping im falling
discretely
silently
my mask is cracking
my tears are falling
my scars are showing
the pain pierces my chest, makes it hollow
the pace of this pain is hard to swallow
I turn for help but they don't listen
so i sit and wait for the black hole to win

R.xxx